


Trying And Trying

by NatureTree



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Autistic Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-02 14:46:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatureTree/pseuds/NatureTree





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

* * *

**Brother**

* * *

* * *

Keith had from a young age been used to negligence, lies and bluffs. But no matter how used he was to it he couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt; because it hurt. But then, Keith met Takashi Shirogane and even if it may have been under a less than ideal situation, it didn't change the fact that Shiro was unlike anyone he had ever met. No, Shiro was - he was more than Keith could ever hope for. And to be honest, Keith had been waiting for the moment that Shiro would give up on him, leave him to rot. He had been afraid to open up because he didn't want to get hurt again. He didn't want this person that he had learned to respect to be fake, to be someone he made up. He didn't want Shiro to be someone Keith didn't know. But day after day, little by little Keith opened up to him. He began to trust him, and while it was difficult Shiro gave him time. He didn't rush his trust, didn't push him to open up, didn't force him to be someone he wasn't.

Shiro never gave up on him. Keith would forever be grateful for that. He knew he could be difficult, that he could be too much or too little. He knew he wasn't happy-go-lucky or friendly. He knew he was closed-off and had walls up. But Shiro tried and waited and was patient, he gave him the space and time he needed. Shiro waited for Keith to talk when he couldn't find his words, he listened when he finally found them and offered advice when Keith didn't want them. Shiro was understanding and he wanted to help, and help he did.

But never, ever did he expect anything more of Keith than he already knew he was capable of. Shiro encouraged him to follow his dreams, to do what he felt was right. And when he felt lost, he offered him directions, and when he wanted nothing more than to disappear he helped him through. Shiro was always there for him, Keith could be ready to lash out and get himself hurt, to destroy himself little by little, neglect what he knew was necessary just to prove a point. To prove that he was strong, that he was capable. But whenever that happened Shiro would always be there to lend him a hand, to help him pick himself up, find the pieces he lost. Shiro would push him to follow his dream and when he felt insignificant and like nothing mattered, Shiro was there to just sit and listen. Even if Keith didn't say anything Shiro was always there to listen until he was ready.

Shiro was there when he needed him the most, therefore Keith couldn't do less than that to him. If Shiro needed him, when he needed him, Keith would be there. Keith would be there to lend a hand, have a shoulder to cry on. He would listen, he would sit down and just be there, he would wait patiently until Shiro found his voice. And Keith would do it with a smile.

But first, he had to find him.


	2. Something not quite explainable

Pain wasn't something new to Keith. Physical, emotional, mental pain; he had felt it. He had lost all that he had; all that he was to pain and he knew - he knew there was no way to change that. Maybe - maybe he didn't want to change it either.

Maybe he thought that was what he deserved because why would he get everything he got if he didn't deserve it?

Why would his mother leave him before he could remember her if he didn't deserve it? Why would his father die trying to save someone he didn't know? Why would every single foster home he's been in hurt him? Why would he meet someone so good for them to disappear when he finally - finally - thought he could be happy? Why would he find that exact person stripped down to a table, scarred and traumatised? Why would he meet all these fantastic people only to get them ripped from him so suddenly.

Why would he be lying down to a cold floor, stripped of everything he has ever had. Wondering why he's even still here; existing in a universe that has done nothing but hurt him. Done nothing but hurt everyone he has ever cared about. Why did he think - hope - that he could do something benefitial.

Why did he think he could do something benefitial when the only possible outcome would be this; him lying on the cold floor with the bodies of his team; friends; family scattered around him.

With him cradling the hand of his lover, trying to rememeber what it felt like to hold his hand when it was alive - when it was warm.

With him breathing - alive. While everyone - everyone - he had ever loved - loved and cherished - was spread out and dead when they used to be alive - so, so alive. Like something he had ever seen before - and thriving. When they used to have nights playing video games and competing, eating the equivalent of popcorns and whatever space soda they could find. When they used to have sleepovers in the Princess' room and chat and make fun of each other. When they would play dress up and laugh at the others' outfits and poses. When they would goof off and pretend - even for only one night - that everything was okay.

When he first kissed Lance. When Shiro and Pidge took pictures of it. When Allura was talking to Hunk about her first boyfriend. When Coran was reminiscing about the Altean traditions and their culture.

When Keith accepted that maybe he would never truly get what he wanted, but that was okay. It was okay because he was happy. He was finally - finally - happy and that was all that mattered.

But now, that was just memories. 

And it wasn't okay. It wasn't okay.

It wasn't okay.


End file.
